| yeah its been a while - deal |
[27 Nov 2004|05:53pm] |
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ok yeah so its been like almost a year since the last time i updated. right now im cat sitting for my aunt in her amazing apartment watching america's best pastry. anyways i wanted to update on how perfect my thanksgiving was. im really really happy with the fact that i went over to my uncle's house, even though it was only for an hour, it still felt really good to be there. they really hadnt started drinking yet which was awesome because the drinking factor is usually the only reason why i think twice about going over there. even though jake wasnt home it was still good times eating with my parents and my aunt. we talked about past thanksgivings and their parents and blah blah. clearly the highlight of the holiday was the gavigan household. i know all of u are gonna read this and think im a big big loser but im really really happy i have u guys. theres no way i could say this to any of ur faces cuz...i dont know. livejournal was just an easier way to say it. but like when im there at the dinner table, theres no other place id rather be. of course it makes me sad that i dont eat at my uncles house anymore and the fact that didi and him are in the middle of a really odd/hard divorce, but really none of it seemed to matter when i was at the gavigan's house. even if my aunt and uncle were still together and we did go over there to eat i know that i would be upset if i couldnt go to the gavigans house. since i was little ive always felt like i needed to be surrounded by people. i dont know if i just hate being alone , or if i just constantly need to talk to someoneor what but ive never felt fully satisfied sitting in mine house with no one there. i was always either at the bells or at the gavigans and then last year when i wasnt at the gavigans house i was running around with mer or in her house. i dont know its weird, i guess i just dont like being by myself and i know it drives my parents nuts but i dont really care. im blabbing on and on and i dont know if this makes much sense, however it is my journal. bottom line the gavigans/g house hold means more to me then ill ever be able to describe to anyone. and thanksgiving just got me sooooo excited for the holidays and everything. i cant wait for the school semester to end, i cant wait for snow and shit. and alllllll the holiday food specials on food network, (brie- there are goood ones on this week!!!)its just gonna be really really good times. hold the phone for a sec, rachel ray is dining with tony danza on tonights episode of inside dish. i REALLY gotta go watch this one.
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| WOW (to say the very least) |
[17 Dec 2003|08:10am] |
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last night laura, j9 and i went to see lord of the rings at 12:01. It was absolutley incredible, it was definatley my favorite by far. i am running on 2 hours of sleep. i am in school now and i didnt bother to change when i got home at 4 in the morning into pjs, so im wearing what i wore to the movies and what i wore to bed. yeah thats gross , it was all worth it and good times were had. j9 and i are mother fucking troopers laura is a failure and fell asleep. it was incredible though. i laughed....i cried .......cried some more. go see lord of the rings the return of the king ASAP. im jittery i dont usually drink coffee , or at least i try to avoid it as much as possible in the morning cuz i dont want to rely on it. however today i needed it and actually kept me going.
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| wow |
[17 Nov 2003|06:48pm] |
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so yeah my 17th birthday was the best birthday ive ever had thanks to all my friends. thank you guys. i wuv you...... :)
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| those days are gone forever , i should just let 'em go.....but |
[06 Nov 2003|01:11pm] |
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if someone told me to wish on being anywhere but where i am right now......
it would be somewhere between thanksgiving and christmas, i'd be really cold outside. i'd be at the gavigans house. it would probably be a sunday night(meaning everyone would be there-joey, brie, danny, betsy, dori, kristin, mrs g , mr g, madison, aaron , donald, milo, gatsby, gizmo, stussy, copper,rexedgar,kd,everyone). it'd be snowing really really hard and joey brie and i would all be hoping for no school......and yes that has to be done at the house behind mine.
bottom line we need to back up like 11 months cuz mentally im there.
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| "be strong when things fall apart...honest this breaks my heart" |
[31 May 2003|10:44pm] |
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so today edgar was attacked by that black lab that lives next door do the gavigans house, well old house. my dad was walking edgar and the black lab just darts out of his yard, and through the boundaries of his invisible fence and just started to attack edgar. my dad didnt know what to do and the leash got all tangled. finally my dad kicked ebony , the black lab and my dad takes edgar home. well my brother realizes that edgar is limping and he is holding his back right leg up. and he was bleeding so my dad brings him to vet. the vet shaved his paw and part of his leg to clean the wound. and his paw is just completley bruised over and its sooo swollen. they gave him like a dog pain killer and some sort of medicine to fight any infections that may come from the other dogs bite. anyways so when my dad comes home he goes over to the neighbors house with edgar. he gets there and the invisible fence people are there and she claims that her fence is broken. which sounds like bullshit to me , cuz that dog has been trained for that fence for so long and doesnt even wear that shocker collar. but whatever i dont know. so then she wont let my dad on her property and makes him and edgar wait on the street and he thinks its because she doesnt want my dad to hear the conversation she is having with the invisible fence guy. so then she comes over into the street and my dad says u have to pay for the vet bill , i was walking my dog we werent on ur property ur dog ran into the street and started to attack my dog. the lady is being a bitch my dad says, and she goes well edgar would always come over and harass my dog when he lived with the gavigans and blah blah. so then she insists on taking pictures of edgars wounds. which i dont understand , shouldnt it be my dad taking the pictures? anyways then the husband comes out and she starts yelling at her husband "i dont want u involved with this! go inside!!"and he walks inside, completley bitch whipped by his wife. anyways i dont know exactly what got accomplished with all this, and i know she made a copy of the bill and took it , but i dont know if she is gonna pay or what , my dad is talking about court and shit. edgar is really nervous and very jumpy. when he finally falls asleep hell start to twitch real bad like hes chasing something then he wakes up. and laura was playing some stupid nintendo game and one of the sound affects is a dog barking and edgar started howling and crying so bad and ran to the deck door and was growling and barking. today was just a bad day in all kinds of canine specie ways.
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| the leaves fall down , so do i into the arms |
[30 Mar 2003|10:31pm] |
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wow. its been a long time since i have updated. so i guess this spring is really gonna fucking suck. i just cant believe they are moving. i dont think anyone(i guess except for them)understands how i feel about this. like this year has sucked pretty bad, but something like this is the worst thing that could ever happen. ive never ever felt this way before. i dont think i will ever forget the way i felt that thursday night when i found out. i cant even describe it. and i hate when i have to tell people "the gavigans are moving" and the response is always "im sorry, it'll be ok", no its not ok. it will never be ok that that family doesnt live in that house , with those animals, on that street. oh and the fucking for sale sign. like my mom came home and was like yeah i saw the for sale sign on the lawn , and it made me really sad. and i swear it looked like she had been crying. u can tell when people have been crying, her eyes were swollen. and is it just me or is that for sale sign the biggest fucking for sale sign u have ever scene? it just rubs it in even more that the family and the pets and the house i have grown to love are now a 20 minute car ride away. compared to the 2 minutes it takes me to walk down my backyard and up thiers. its always been one of joey and i's biggest fears. that one of us would have to move. and we would always conclude that even if one us moved up the street it wouldnt be the same. now the biggest fear is staring at me in the face and i dont know what to do. and the last couple of weeks have fucking sucked with all the damn workers. tearing down the wallpaper that have been there for the last 15 years. they take over the household, banging and hammering shit while the dogs are locked in the fucking basement. christ-dori and betsy babysat me when i was little, now being 16, i have babysat madison before and just attended her 3 year old birthday party. and all this has happened right in our neighborhood. and when i walk edgar around the neighborhood and we pass by their house and i see the new neighbors get home from work or something, theyll have no idea who i am or the fact that i grew up in the house they are currently living in. its hard to find an upside to this catonsville business. when they were talking about the house and the town that its near, it sounds awesome. but when i found out they got the house , and they are definatley gonna be 20 minutes away (by car), it just fucking sucks. yeah so thats it. farewell to the last 15 years. dori donald and madison- i hope ull be needing some company.
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| Just so I can hear you I stay up as late as it takes, as long as it takes. |
[25 Feb 2003|05:31pm] |
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yeah so this week sucks more than suck can suck so far. hopefully there will be more snow and there wont be anymore stupid stupid school.i heard there was suppossed to be a "significant amount of snow" starting thursday or something like that. im at joey's (for a change), she is sleeping of course while i sit on bries bed. my brother went to philly today without my parents permission and i think my dad is more than furious. but jacob will be 18 soon , and they really just need to give up. my dads birthday is this saturday. yikes. i gotta get him something. i got kicked out of spanish today and i never ever wanna go back to that stupid stupid class. my teacher is so white trash and i hate her. i was supposed to get detention but mrs nacir said i only had to write an apology letter. when i was writting it i felt like i was in the 2 nd grade. but whatever i guess writting a paper full of lies is better than serving detention. i hope mrs hart knows its bullshit. i sound evil but she really really pisses me off. yeah thats all for now.
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| The mindless comfort grows when I'm alone with my 'great' plans. |
[22 Feb 2003|04:18pm] |
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wow , i havent updated in a really long time. so this is our 8th day off from school. wow we got a lot of snow. i hate school so much and i never ever wanna return. im glad i was in canada on the 14th, there wasnt much mentions of valentines day , which was good times. i miss elm school , where u get a valentine from everyone of ur class mates and then have a party afterwards. im sure brie doesnt miss those , i remember her telling me she threw up at almost every single one of those parties. valentines day is strictly for the birds and canada was so much fun. it was freezing (30 below, 40 below on the mountain), but fun. im at lauras right now and i really think if i hear any more country music i just may vomit. i am dieing to listen to jew clarity cd right this very instant. i really should just go and buy it, but going to best buy is a hastle. well thats it for now.
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| THIS IS BULLSHIT |
[18 Jan 2003|12:04am] |
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today this dumb ass in my chemistry class got caught skipping by my chemistry teacher and he is a fucking idiot cuz he signed his 1st period teachers name on a blue note and showed it to mrs miller but then she looked on the absent list and he was marked as present that day and it was so funny cuz he flipped out and like got mad at her and threw his back pack on the desk and yelled "THIS IS BULLSHIT!" so of course mrs miller told him to leave and she was so mad and was talking to the class about it. and some idiot was like why did u kick him out and she was like "when some yells THIS IS BULLSHIT!, im gonna kick them out" but she screamed this is bullshit shockingly loud and quite conveniently i recorded her saying that on my new handy dandy cellular phone. it was all very entertaining. anyways , this week is over , i have a B in spanish which is excellent.....damn i got a lot of shit accomplished this week. it started with raising hell to the school secretary's for trying to give me dentention for being tardy with a mother fucking note, and i got myself out of detention. then today i started yelling at my food and nutrition teacher for giving me a c and then i got a b , then i turned in all this late work to my spanish teacher and weaseled my way into a b in that class. so after all this im a failure talk, i actaully ended up over achieving. i should win a mother fucking award for bitching out the fucking office people. and so help me g-d Mrs. Richieson, u will rot in hell!!!!!
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| YOU DICK! |
[12 Jan 2003|10:03pm] |
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this weekend was some pretty good times. friday i discovered that jessica and veronika had a pair of the spicoli shoes at a very younge age. that i think was the highlight of my weekend. then i saw the movie seven at courtneys and felt soo fucking sick afterwards cuz that is one of the scariest movies in the entire world. i woke up at 2 in the morning cuz jake was throwing rocks at my window cuz he didnt have his keys, ugh. he quit his job today which is quite sketchy. and stupid cuz pf changs is some good mother fuckin eatin! joey laura and i went there last night for dinner. mid terms are in a week and i dont give a fuck and i really dont see myself studying for them well except of course for mrs austin's class, even though i know i will fail it anyways. oh well. i think the second half of the year is gonna be a whole lot better. i sure fucking hope so. i went to the mall today and nobody was working except for joey and zain. no sarah at bun penny , no brittney at the snow ball stand , no veronika at godiva, and no steve at sears. what a bust. well good bye
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| and she knows all his favroite songs |
[06 Jan 2003|03:02pm] |
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it's snowing a lot! i dont think we are gonna have school tomorrow !!!! yay!!, i am really really tired , i went to bed somewhere between 5:30 and 6:30 and woke up at 12. i slept over dori's last night with brie and joey. it was good times. it was just pissing me off that the wouldnt fucking call school off till like 7 15!!! i was all anxious , and u knew they knew they were gonna call it off the whole time! they just wanted to make sure that everyone did thier damn homework. victoria went to school this morning , twice! haha.well i just cant write anymore.
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| why does my heart always beat before yours does? |
[05 Jan 2003|08:57pm] |
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i woke at 2 this afternoon and as i was walking to the bathroom , rubbing my eyes, i realized it had snowing and was still snowing a whole lot!! , i hope so much there is no school. after all this winter weather and winter break i have gotten very spoiled , it is so much easier to go through a 4 day week of school then a 5 day week. betsy said that it was suppossed to keep snowing through tomorrow and keep snowing tomorrow. brie keeps on saying that there will be no school but i really dont wanna get my hopes up. i think dori is gonna call her work and see if they have said anything about school tomorrow. anyways i did my geometry project anyways cuz i figured if i do it there will be no school and if i didnt do it there would be school, that's the way my luck works. laura is a big loser and made a harry potter web site today at my house while i was doing my project and there is racial material against asains in it. here is the site : http://www.hometown.aol.com/lzim75/myhomepage/gryffindor.html. so go there if u get the chance. i mean it is a pathetic web page, but just know that laura actually did this in her spare time. anyways, steve called me a quiter today and i didnt appreciate it. i didnt quit david's, i needed to work less shifts and of course they wouldnt let me do that so i took off for a month but quote from my boos on the phone ..."don't come back till your shit is straightened out.", and quite frankly my "shit" isnt straightened out so i havent gone back yet. oh yeah steve also said that apparently at davids they are saying that i was fired, which i am sure he is just bullshitting around. anyways , good bye.
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| and you know that i would do it in a second....with just , my fingernails |
[03 Jan 2003|11:55pm] |
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i hate school. i went for 2 days and i just want it to be winter break again. my eyes were burning and watering in 1 st period cuz i was so mother fucking tired. i have a project due on monday that i havent started yet and i have a 51.3 % in chemistry,the good news just keeps comin huh?, but i am kinda scared because i dont care., that's sketchy cuz i just dont care , i know i wont try any harder to bring it up. all i need to do is graduate. my parents are encouraging me to go to hcc. they say it's a better choice for me. which means they don't want me going away to college, they want me to stay home. anyways , i cleaned my etnies last night , they were so gross from david's. and i forgot all about my mom's eye and chemicals cant get in her eye cuz it may get infected and she could lose her eyesite. which would obviously be a mother fucking bust. so i had to open all the windows and doors and i had to leave my shoes out on the deck so they could air out. ok well i suck at life and pretty much just generally hate so i am gonna go and think about how much i hate life.
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